I could have died

Were you guys ever afraid of toilet monsters/snakes attacking you while you went to the bathroom? I used to be, and now I am again. Yesterday I went in to use the bathroom and I found a giant spider half hiding under the back rim of the toilet seat. Luckily I saw it, but then I didn't know what to do. I eventually decided to throw water on it to force it into the bowl so I could flush it. But I was still scared to go to the bathroom after that, and I really had to go to the bathroom. So the thrilling conclusion to this tale is that I decided to go to the bathroom in the hopes that whatever I sent down after it would thoroughly kill the spider even more. And now I check the toilet every time I use it, just like how I always used to check the shower as a kid, you know, in case a psycho-killer was hiding in there. Man, bathrooms are scary.

Labor day presents - they're gonna be big

I finally bought the one thing I've been wanting that Optimistic. refused to buy for me as a Labor Day present. His argument was that there are no such things as Labor Day presents. My argument was that there is a huge present-less void in my life between my birthday in March and Christmas in December. So I bought myself this awesome receiver, which has a handy pick-up/hang-up button and volume control built into it. Plus it will be amazing to have a nice curly phone line coming out of my purse seemingly attached to nothing. Despite the picture I got it in black - red is just a little too conspicuous and would clash with my hair.

I am Lawyer, hear me roar

This morning when I was half awake my brain confused the words lawyer and legend, so I present to you this list:

-I Am Lawyer
-Lawyers of the Fall
-The Lawyer of Zorro
-Urban Lawyer
-The Lawyer of Zelda
-Sinbad: Lawyer of the Seven Seas
-The Lawyer of Bagger Vance
-The Lawyer of Sleepy Hollow

A face only a fellow hobo could love

Okay folks - Hobo Fest is tentatively scheduled for one month from today on Saturday October 24th. Things to look forward to may include:

-Mulligan stew
-The parade of hobos beauty pageant
-One man's trash is another man's treasure hunt
-Hobo feats of strength
-Hungry hungry hobos eating contest
-The crowning of a hobo King and Queen

Be excited.

Can robots pee? These are the questions we need answers to!

While using Garage Band I tried adding some Robotic Tambourine just to spice things up. As you can see, I only had a short clip so the program shortened it to "Robo Urine", which I find immensely funny.

RAWR

Quick update. I am in school and I have a job.

School: I am taking the last of my GE classes this semester, which means I have Pearl of Great Price, New Testament, and Art History to get through and then I am done with GE's for forever. I am also taking TMA 291- film history, and TMA 241 -beginning screenwriting. Screenwriting takes up a lot of my time, but I think it will be worth it. Basically I am now tired all of the time - for realsie7.

My new job: I am a video editor for the BYU Chinese Flagship Center. I'm still learning how to do my job, but I have hope that someday I will actually learn how to do everything I'm supposed to know how to do. Most importantly it's a job that's specific to my major, has flexible hours, and pays well. Plus the office I use is called the dragon office, which sounds mysterious. But really it's because half of it is filled with an honest to goodness Chinese dragon, like the kind you'd see in a parade.

Church stuffs: I had my first enrichment activity where we did freezer paper stencils. A lot of people came which was nice but also kind of hectic, because I couldn't police everyone and some people got ahead of me before I could keep them from doing things wrong. But everyone had a good time and things turned out well.

Also, I had to give a talk about fellowshipping on Sunday, but it went very well if I do say so myself. I focused on how to actually create friendships within a married student ward (which can be tricky) and I threw in some stories here and there to highlight my points. A lot of people said they enjoyed it, so I feel pretty relieved knowing I did a good job and that I won't have to speak again for a while.

So, I've been really busy and it looks like it's going to stay that way all semester. Except I have extracurricular stuff that needs planning, like hobo fest, and the second curtain rod that needs to go up in the living room, and all the dishes that accumulate every day when I'm not looking.

Oh my

I got fairly sunburned in Lincoln City which means that in 5 days when school starts my face will be peeling like crazy and all the cool kids will think that I am gross. Sunburns suck. In other news, I have two more onesies to show you.

This is Lions and Tigers and Bears

And this is Smokey the Bear. I think it's pretty awesome.

What I've been up to, in reverse order

1. PAINTING - Since Bony M and Audrey posted about doing freezer paper stencils I wanted to try my hand at it. And since I was recently called to be my ward's enrichment leader I thought it would make for a fun activity. And I couldn't organize an activity without buying all the supplies and testing it out. The conclusion? I'm addicted. Currently I'm stenciling on onesies since I didn't want to start out on anything too big and I thought it would win over the Relief Society crowd knowing they can make cute customized clothes for their kids or as gifts for one of the many many sisters ready to go into labor before the year is out. So I made the following incredibly awesome onesies -As you can see they are Uncle Sam and Totoro. I know you all want one. Uncle Sam may look out of place on a onesie, but I still think it's awesome. I have a Napoleon Bonaparte stencil that I may do next.

2. LOAFING AND COOKING -I am still unemployed, which is a bit depressing, but I get to spend my days doing stuff around the house I wouldn't ordinarily have time to get to, and I read a lot of good books last month. I'm also developing my taste buds a little. Last month I made Mexican rice with beans and cheese and sour cream and lettuce and taquitos on the side. A year ago I wouldn't have eaten any of those things, and especially not mixed together. But I mashed it all up with my fork and ate it. It was delicious.
I took this picture to represent my typical day -I was working my way through the Harry Potter series, I have my remote for movie watching, and there's my leftover homemade Mexican food.

2. HOME IMPROVEMENT - I decided to put up curtains in our living room to help keep out the hot Utah sun. We have blinds, but the light shines right through them even when they're closed. I actually lined two of the windows with wrapping paper, which is very effective in keeping out the light, but not so picturesque. Plus our walls look pretty drab and they're full of holes where previous tenants had put up curtains and shelves and taken them back down again. I mean, who takes a curtain rod with them when they move? Anyway, here's the before picture -As you can see it looked ridiculous. Here's how it looks now. Much better, except now the room looks a little Christmas-y. I can deal with that in a room that's now 15 degrees cooler.4. SMASHING STUFF - Optimistic.'s family likes to smash old appliances. It's pretty fun. Leaps told us he had a monitor to smash and we in turn told him that we had an old DVD player that needed some forced dismantling, so we got together in the street where we live. Here are some smashing pictures.

Before

During

After

Good Times. And now I'm planning for our road trip home to Portland next week where we will see Elder Carp who gets off his mission in two days. We will also hang out with lots of my family, go to my brother Rough Draft's Eagle Court of Honor, go to the beach for a weekend, and I will hopefully get to eat at Shari's, shop at Powell's, buy gummi worms at WINCO, and in general, enjoy myself.

Making a comeback

A month after having had this tooth pulled I'm finally able to chew on both sides of my mouth without having to think about it. For a while there it took a lot of concentration to eat and brush my teeth, but now it's like riding a bicycle. Yet despite all this healing, recently my gums have been hurting near where my molar was pulled and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Maybe it was infected? Or there could be some gingivitis going on all up in there? Today I felt around and discovered that what my dentist had told me was unlikely to happen is happening -my wisdom tooth is dropping down to take the place of my missing molar. Apparently I'm teething. Now I know what all those babies are always wailing about.

They put anti-freeze in the wine!

We've taken the plunge and signed up for Netflix. I'm thrilled about it. We own hundreds of movies but we've seen them all dozens of times and are bored with them. So far I've watched Auntie Mame and Empire Falls and there's more goodness on the way. Best of all we're getting Season 1 disc 3 of the Simpsons because it has the episode Crepes of Wrath where Bart goes to France.

I had to go through and rate some movies on the site to give them an idea of what our tastes are, and then they recommend films. One of the recommendations amused me -it was for the BBC production of Pride and Prejudice, which I absolutely love -it's my favorite version and I've seen it countless times. And it was recommended because I favorably rated season two of Arrested Development, which if you've seen it you know that it really doesn't have much in common with P&P -nothing that is, except that they are both extremely witty.

I've tried for years to explain to people why I love Pride and Prejudice and why they should watch it, but I get nothing but protests that it's a girly film. What they don't seem to get is that I am not very girly myself and therefore have no more interest in watching a five hour long chick flick than they do. I don't watch Pride and Prejudice to ogle Colin Firth or swoon over the prospect of Jane and Bingley or Darcy and Elizabeth getting together. I watch P&P because it's funny -it has some of the funniest characters out of any film I've ever seen.

Mr. Bennet has great banter, Mr. Collins is obsequious and ridiculous without realizing it, and Mr. Bingley has absolutely no will of his own - his sisters decide his life out from under him. I know people just like them in real life. (I firmly believe that everyone has their own real-life Mr. Collins.)

Then there are moments like the conversation between Mrs. Bennet and her sister Mrs. Phillips where they abuse Mr. Wickham and declare that they always knew him to be no good. It's a great comedic moment, and if it doesn't make you laugh then you're probably dead inside. I find that a lot of the characters are very realistic and I never fail to find connections between the book and my own life, not in an unrealistic "I wish my Mr. Darcy would come" kind of way, but in simple moments. The other day I was sitting in my oppressively hot living room and had a lady Catherine de Bourgh moment as I thought to myself "this is a most inconvenient sitting room in the summer. Why, the windows are full west!"

In short, watch the movie. I have never known anyone to be sorry for taking the plunge and submitting to the hilarity that is Pride and Prejudice.

Because of this and hypodontia I'm down by three, but I'll catch up

I had my tooth extracted. I went in yesterday and found out that they were ready to get down to business, either by starting another root canal or having it extracted, so asked if I could just have it pulled. The tooth could have been salvaged, but it just didn't seem worth it to me because a) it's my very back tooth, which means I technically can do without it b) no one ever even sees it and c) there was the cost to consider. To do another root canal would have cost $1200 and taken weeks and weeks to get done. To get this tooth pulled? $110 and the actual process took about fifteen minutes. It was, by the way, one of the weirdest sensations I've ever felt. No pain, just a lot of pressure that left me gripping my armrests.

When it was all over they gave me a long list of instructions - no straws, no soup, no spitting, no smoking, but the key word they used was suction, or negative pressure. That's what it all comes down to. I'm not to create any kind of suction in my mouth, which I must say requires a lot of concentration on my part. I'm also supposed to keep my tongue away from the hole, so I fell asleep trying to keep my tongue in place and had nightmares that it had somehow touched the hole and now I had dry socket, the most feared consequence of oral surgery caused by tongue touching and allowing suction to exist inside your mouth. Also, it turns out that estrogen plays a factor in getting dry socket and I've been informed by leading experts that I have some of this so called estrogen right inside my body! But I'm not too worried -dry socket normally occurs when bottom teeth are pulled.

On the flip side, I have felt zero pain since I had this tooth removed. It does not hurt at all, which is a great relief. And I have found my new calling in life -napping. Also, Optimistic. brought me home a huge Jamba Juice that I spoon fed to myself very carefully (no straws, remember?) and it was delicious. I have watched 3 of the 4 Anne of Green Gables tapes, Mansfield Park, and something called Jane Austen Regrets. Granted, I am unemployed so there's a very good chance I would have watched all those movies and taken all those naps anyway.

P.S. I got to keep my tooth, and it is enormous! I am going to put it under my pillow and demand $1 from the tooth fairy i.e. Optimistic., and if he refuses I will chase him around the house with my tooth until he pays up.

P.P.S. M-Lite was kind enough to take me to the dentist because Optimistic. was at work, so thank you M-Lite -I will make sure your birthday gift is of extra-good quality this year.

Why I love my dentist

I'm in the middle of some dental work, meaning that last summer when I actually had money I started getting my teeth taken care of -a really thorough cleaning, 4 deep fillings, and two root canals. Root canals take multiple visits so I ended up seeing the dentist every other week from June to September to get everything done. Except it never all got finished. By the time I was in the middle of my second root canal I ran out of insurance money for the year, and after that we lost our insurance, so my #15 (back, top left) tooth has had a gaping hole in it for 9 months.

Because my tooth is hollowed out food naturally gets stuck in there (especially peanuts). I remedy this by using 20 or so toothpicks every day. I have toothpick dispensers all around the house and in my purse -I use them constantly. Then last week I was picking something out of my teeth and something came out that wasn't supposed to -a bit of the pulp cap that separates my tooth's roots from the outside world. I was in excruciating pain Saturday morning -all I could do was cry really, the pain was so bad, and dentist's offices are never open on the weekends. I've spent the last two days taking tylenol and coating my gums with anbesol (sweet blessed anbesol) while I waited until I could make an appointment.

Here's why I love my dentist's office and why you should go there too:

1) I have not been to this dentist in 9 months, but the second I told Judy the receptionist my name she remembered exactly who I am.

2) She immediately went to go get my chart to see what work had been done on the tooth in question. She didn't hassle me about cleanings or six month checkups.

3) At the end of every visit Judy schedules your next appointment, tells you what's next in your treatment schedule and exactly how much it's going to cost. Absolutely no surprises -every time I came for an appointment I knew how much it was going to cost me. At my home dentist I once went in and ended up having a surprise root canal done for $1500. That was really upsetting at the time.

4) The dentists themselves are really nice guys -competent, funny, very good at what they do. They're also very understanding -I have a wisdom tooth that needs to come out- it keeps getting infected, but instead of lecturing me about it they deduced that it was a financial problem and let it go. I have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow where they're going to check out my tooth, hopefully give me a massive dose of anything to stop the pain and discuss options.

5) I just like the feel of their office. It's small and doesn't look too modern -I don't like offices that try to make everything look super high-tech. Basically, I don't get the vibe that my dental work is paying for my dentist to have a yacht. Mainly I like Judy. Whatever they're paying her it can't be what she's worth.

My dentist is Dr. David G. Lee. Look him up.

It's mentioned in that one scene in You've Got Mail when Meg Ryan is crying in Fox Books

One of my favorite books is Ballet Shoes by Noel Streatfeild, so I was excited when I found out a movie was being made of it. But then it never came out, or so I thought. Apparently the BBC released it on TV in 2007. They've tweaked a few things in the plot giving Sylvia an illness and a love interest, but most of it is very true to the book. Anyway, it's on youtube in 9 segments and it's pretty well done, so I encourage you to watch it if you've read the book. If you haven't read the book you should check it out. That is all.

I choose not to run for president in 1928

Since I'm home for most of the day every day I've taken to changing things around the house. In the living room I put up my fake clock (which always throws people off when they realize it's cardboard) as well as some of my slang flash cards.




There also used to be a stuffed maroon thing above the kitchen sink that I've never cared for, but when I tried to take it down once I found that it was covering up some holes in the wall.

So I finally thought of what to put in its place - my Presidents of the United States educational place mat! Now I can do the dishes and learn about the presidents at the same time.

Also, true to my love of making things out of cardboard I made a toilet paper holder for my bathroom out of some boxes I had. It holds eight rolls and is slightly asymmetric (on purpose of course).

Somebody, anybody, put me to use

I've been meaning to post and end the lull in blogging, but so much has happened in the past month I'd never be able to do it justice. In short, we've taken two trips to Portland -one for a week and the other for a weekend- and just Wednesday we went to the MTC to see Matt off on his mission to Salt Lake. Next weekend we're going to Las Vegas for Optimistic.'s Grandpa's 80th birthday. After that we should be done with traveling for a while until we go home again in August. The biggest news with me is that I am unemployed. Despite needing a job for these last six months I have found absolutely nothing, so if you hear of anything, let me know.The following is a list of things I wish I could put on my resume somewhere:

-I can make anything out of cardboard
-I can defuse any situation with humor
-I know how to make playdough
-Winner of best Halloween costume 2006 -dressed as a ham
-Winner of best Halloween costume 2007 -dressed as a side-by-side refrigerator
-I personally made all but two of my sister's art projects during her entire High School career
-Skit writer and ode composer for YW Girl's Camps 1998-2004
-I successfully planned for and hosted The Moppies (a formal award show for Facility Services staff) for two consecutive years
-I make delicious peanut butter chocolate chip cookies
-I know what "cheddar" is slang for
-Fact: I never show up late to anything
-Further fact: I never do a second rate job on anything
-Biggest fact of all: I'm awesome at everything I do and somebody out there should give me a job

Fresh butter

I woke up literally seconds ago, and this is the earthshatteringly good idea I just had. Why no one has never thought of it before now amazes me. Ready? A winter wedding where instead of it being all winter wonderlandy the dress code is Christmas sweaters. Clearly I am a genius. This ranks up there with the time I thought I could turn an empty mascara tube into a portable butter churn, because, you know, who wouldn't love to have fresh butter available to them at all times? The only difference between the two ideas is that shamefully I was wide awake when I invented the miniature butter churn.

P.S. I could not find any Christmas sweater wedding dresses. Perhaps a more intensive google search is in order.

Mucus free since 2:53

Thursday night I started a nasty cold. Finals started on Friday, so I fit them in between blowing my nose, wearing my pajamas, and drinking a lot of water. Today I took two finals and I am done. Sweet freedom until the Fall!

I also shot and edited my final fiction film for TMA 185 in under 24 hours. Optimistic. appears as a cowboy, Spinelli is the office love interest for my protagonist, and a lot of classmates and friends came through for me by acting, running sound, and providing costumes and props.

Despite being sick I went to church on Sunday because I missed last week when I made the mistake of eating year old Easter candy which resulted in something of an upset stomach. Stupid malt eggs. Stupid delicious jelly beans.

A few days ago we decided to order a pizza, so I called it in under my name and later we went to pick it up. When the pizza guy went into the back to get it he came back empty handed asking if there was a first name that went with the order, and I had to respond that the name I'd given him was my first name. People ask me that all the time and it never ceases to bother me. We described the order and he came back with it saying it had been under the name Merrill, which is not even close to my name. I was stuffed up when I called in and things had sounded fairly noisy on their end, but seriously, how did they get "Merrill" out of "Genuine"? If you've seen the show How I Met Your Mother it's like the time Barney's coffee order had "Swarley" written on it, so they called him names like Swarles, Swarlos, Swarles Barkley, and Swarhili.

I am also thrilled to be going on a roadtrip to Portland in only a few short days. If any of you want something from Powell's just let me know and I'll pick it up for you.

It was only a matter of time

It finally happened, just as I knew it someday would -someone mistook me for being pregnant (which I am not) and I was forced to say, "nope, not pregnant, I'm just obese." So really this day has nowhere to go but up.

Stache Bash '09

I managed to stretch the birthday to almost a week. Friday was the mustache goodness, Saturday we ate at the hospital cafe with the family and then went to see the Thrillionaires, a long-form improv comedy group. The first half they put on a play.The second half was a musical. Both were impressive. Sunday we had Sunday dinner with the family. Monday was my actual birthday and it was fairly crappy- my documentary got torn to shreds in class and no packages came. But Tuesday we went to the movies and Burgers Supreme with Uffish and yesterday my package from home came as well as Optimistic.'s gift. All in all a good haul this year. I received:

-A book entitled "How to traumatize Your Children" from Bony M. It's a self hurt book and is very funny.
-"Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs", "Squids Will Be Squids", a Target Gift card and goldfish crackers from Optimistic.'s family. I poured goldfish into my mouth straight from the carton while reading Cloudy
-"The Mysterious Benedict Society" from Whistler. I got this on Friday and spent all my spare moments Saturday and Sunday reading it. It was delightful.
-Potato Head Pals from the Swisses. They're shaped like a carrot, an ear of corn, and a regular potato. I hope to play with them in church and make all the children jealous.
-Hercules and Anastasia from M-Lite and Spinelli. I immediately watched Anastasia on Saturday morning.
-A Wendy's gift card from my classmate R -put to good use on Monday. Mmmm... homestyle chicken go wraps.
-Two very nice cards from my Grandparents Draft and Optimistic.'s Grandparents in Orem, both very thoughtfully containing money prizes.
-Goldfish crackers from my VTee N -cheddar and pizza flavored and also basketball themed
-Kosher baby dill pickles and Pez from my other VTee W
-Icecream Larry and The Hotel Larry by Daniel Manus Pinkwater from Optimistic., which will add nicely to my growing collection of children's book. My only dilemma in owning all these books is that I have no desire to let children get their hands on them. Children are sticky. Children color on books and tear pages. Children are destructive vandals so they had better get their own copy someday.
-My birthday box from home contained paper cups with animal noses on them, Tikki Tikki Tembo, Tangerine, a very nice spill-proof water bottle that I'm drinking from at this very moment, Hercules (which I will need to return), A Diary of a Whimpy Kid, a $50 gift card, comics from The Oregonian, and a fibromyalgia cookbook that's on its way.
-I also received a voice mail from M-Lite that said "Happy Birthday" in a throaty drawn out whisper.Bless her.

Frigidaire

Here are some more pictures from my phone. These are from two Halloweens ago when I went as a side by side refrigerator. I had food and all sorts of stuff on my insides, and then on the outside I had magnets, wedding announcements, pictures, the whole she-bang. People were eating bananas and oatmeal cream pies out of me.Here I am checking the fridge. Guess which one's me. Also, check out my cord.

When I was done with my costume I did what I do every year -I took it the parking lot of the old ward and set it on fire. Unfortunately I also set the parking lot itself on fire. I don't know how or why, just that it kept smoldering. Finally I went up to #15 and asked for a pitcher of water.
That stove in the right hand side of the picture was quaking with fear. If any of your appliances give you any trouble, show them this picture and it will straighten them right out.


P.S. This costume severely limited my arm movement. All the parties I wore it to consisted of me setting food on top of my fridge close to my mouth and trying to eat without using my hands. But it was still better than the year I dressed as a ham and people fed me through my eye hole.

One size fits all

Tiny candy bars are always labeled as "fun sized" or "bite sized". The bar of soap I opened this morning was labeled as being "bath sized". What does that even mean?

Airport Skank

I recently bought a new phone, not because I needed one, but because I've had my old phone for a number of years and someone from Sprint called me up and urged me to go in and get my free upgrade, so I did. Unfortunately, nothing form my old phone transferred over to my new phone. No contacts, no pictures, no ring tone of my sister singing Rafi's Banana Phone song. This was devastating. Upon finding out that nothing was going to switch over I mourned the loss of my data, but my pictures especially. I don't have the cables necessary to get pictures off my phone and I can't text them to my email because I don't text. It seemed my pictures from the last two years would go the way of Darling Clementine and be lost and gone forever. Long story short my sister found a way to get the pictures to me in a daring SIM card switcheroo so I've decided to post some of my more cherished pictures over the next little while.

This is the airport skank and was labeled as such in my phone. While picking up my sister's bestie from the airport last Easter I saw this girl at the baggage claim. Her "dress" was impossibly short and made of spandex. The front was covered in rhinestones. I had to wonder about this girl. Did she wake up and say "I'm flying to Salt Lake today, I wonder if I should dress like I belong in a brothel?" I think she must have. I could only get a picture of her from behind, but that's where the true beauty of this outfit comes into play. As if her outfit isn't terrible enough, if you look closely there's a brown stain on her bottom. And although you can't see them in the picture she was also wearing really high white platform strappy shoes. Let's just say that when I found out I might not get to keep my pictures I thought of this one first. What? No airport skank picture? What will I do? Also, Airport Skank, if you're reading this, I thank you for the humor you have provided and apologize for comparing you to a whore. In short, I wish you well Airport Skank.

Homesville

Today I am in the weak and smelly stage of being sick. It is tons o' fun. I went to classes yesterday for twelve hours despite being sick because Wednesdays are my big day and I had lots of stuff due. But Optimistic. has been really nice -today he scrubbed the tub and suggested I take a relaxing bath. I am sure his offer is sincere and has nothing to do with the way I smell. He also gave me my Valentine's day present early - a whole huge carton of goldfish crackers! I feel very blessed despite being filled to the brim with snot.

Weak sauce

I was doing the dishes today (because the situation in our kitchen was getting a bit dire) and I cut my finger in two places. The weird thing is that it wasn't on a knife or any other utensil. It wasn't even on a broken dish. It was on food. I want you all to picture the least dangerous food you can think of. What cut me? Spaghetti sauce.That's right, spaghetti sauce. I tried to open an empty jar of spaghetti sauce so I could rinse it out and the sauce around the mouth of the jar had hardened to form jagged razor-sharp crusts, two of which cut me when I tried to open the jar. I have learned my lesson and will never do the dishes again. Or I suppose the other take away message might be to not leave old jars by the sink for weeks on end.

I hardly knew ye

First things first -Optimistic.'s beard is coming in nicely and no longer looks as though he simply hasn't shaved in a bit. I took a picture of just his beard but it looked silly without the rest of his face in it so I took a second one without telling him that his face would be seen.

Second things second -Yesterday was the two year mark for the floss being tied around my pinky and I decided to take it off. Most of the time I didn't even notice it was there, but I felt it wouldn't be wise to leave it on any longer. I am very well aware that no one cares about the floss in the slightest, but I captured the whole process and will post the pictures here.
Notice if you can that when the floss is moved away from my finger there's a red line running around it where the floss is.

This is when it had actually been cut.

Me pretending to be sad. Notice the lip.

In this one you can see the dent it left in my finger. I think it will fade over time and won't be permanent, but if it is I will have a great lie to tell when playing two truths and a lie about how it got chopped off in a freak accident and had to be reattached.