Saturday, March 31, 2007


Well, M-Lite's surgery went really well, and we got her pathology report back yesterday. No more cancer! Hooray! The doctor gave us a double thumbs up. She's going to have a sweet scar though, let me tell you.

Also, it was actually kind of fun being at the hospital on Thursday when she went in to have her surgery. F2 and I kept joking with the medical people coming in and out, we took some fun pictures with M-Lite, and we got to eat some Handi Snacks and apple juice. Yum! Perhaps best of all is that I made M-Lite a cancer crossword while she was out. It's a thing of beauty, if you haven't already seen it.

She goes back on Monday and Friday to have some staples removed, but other than that she's mostly done. I just wanted to say I'm incredibly thankful for everyone who helped us out these last few weeks, either by coming with us to Salt Lake, making M-Lite food, taping paper effigies of themselves (as well as some celery) to out front door, or just by asking how she's been doing. It really has meant a lot to me, so thank you.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


Too much has happened and it's been too long since I posted last. The festival of Colors was amazingly fun. I think it must have been similar to how it felt to be at Woodstock. Okay, maybe not, but I thought of it when I saw the masses with their bags of colored powder traipsing around a giant bonfire like pagans. It was fun. And I hit a small kid with a rock. Oh boy. Maybe I'll post more about it when I get my pictures developed. We'll see.

Meeting Dean and CJ was fun - I was sorry to see them go, even though I did not in fact actually see them go. I liked being around people who were so carefree.

I ate soup for the first time in approximately fifteen years and loved it. I hate soup. I have one hazy memory of staring at a bowl of tomato soup as a child. But krebscout's taco soup tasted like chili, so it went surprisingly well. Apparently it had cilantro in it, as well as about fifteen other things I would never think to eat. Good, I say. I should try more foods.

ND, my mom's best friend since 4th grade was in town and M-Lite and I were supposed to hang out with her, but she had to reschedule and I missed her. Last time she came she took us to the grocery store and told us to buy twenty dollars of whatever we wanted. Bony M got a lot of blueberries - blueberry pancake mix, frozen blueberries, etc. I don't exactly remember what I got. I know I picked up some chocolate chips and a few other baking essentials. This time she left us each twenty dollars, so when Optimistic. and I went to the store I bought all the things I would never ordinarily buy for myself, like fruit snacks and DOTS and bread.

And I found out last Friday on my birthday that M-Lite has cancer. Melanoma stage IIB. I dismissed it, not knowing at that time how serious it was. Now I know. I went with her to her consultation in Salt Lake where we found out all the statistics involved, what the procedure would be, studies she could participate in, etc. That scared me down to my core.

She coped with it very well and worked out all the insurance information with the nurse behind the desk while I paced. I pace a lot. When I talk on the phone or when I brush my teeth I find it necessary to roam about the space I'm in. So I paced the office and worried and paced and panicked more than somewhat and tried to keep it together for M-Lite's sake because I wouldn't be much good to her if I broke down right there on the spot. I wished I could have called someone. Instead I worked in my Boggle book and roamed the halls until I found some bubble wrap to play with.

We drove home singing to the radio, a million thoughts going through my mind, the main one being, "If there's anybody who doesn't deserve this it's her". I scribbled in a spiral notebook when I saw interesting things, like the license plate of the car in front of us that said SO M UP, which M-Lite guessed must have been driven by a surgeon. And there was a billboard with Abraham Lincoln on it. Our sixteenth president is now linked in my mind with everything that happened that day.

Anyway, we drove, sang, and got lunch at Wendy's once we were back in Provo. I never would have been able to remain as composed as she did, and it surprised me that she was so upbeat and that I was coming undone. Anyway, she's going in for surgery this week. F2 is flying in to take care of her, thank goodness. If she wasn't coming it would mean that I would need to be the responsible one, and while I know that I can be, it's nice to not have to be. I don't want to be the brave responsible one; I want to be the younger sister that I am.

M-Lite said she was more worried about me driving her home from Salt Lake than she was about the actual procedure. I can't say I blame her. I'm a nervous driver when I have passengers. It's good that F2 will be here.

All in all this last week has been okay. The week before that was not as okay. I should sleep more. Oh well. That's most of the major plot points. Also in there somewhere, I did my taxes, signed a Summer housing contract, drank a very tart Slurpee, went to an eagle scout court of honor, got creamed playing Boggle, took a walk, drove to Borders, went to work, aced my English midterm, listened to some great accordion music, went to Carl's Jr., and saw some good movies.

The end for now.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

A freckle-faced redhead girl you want to know

Best birthday ever. This is where I recap how awesome it was.

First came the pith helmet, which you know. Something I forgot to mention was what my dad told me when I called to thank him for it. He said," Make sure you write your name in it so you don't get it mixed up with everyone else's pith helmet." I laughed so hard at that.

And that opened the floodgates. So many gifts. I feel so loved.

Next came the coolest bag ever. It's yellow and made to look like a "caution wet floor" sign. Then came the sock. My friend sent me a sock postmarked on the 12th, making it my third piece of sock mail. I'm so glad. Thanks to M and M2 who make work so much more enjoyable.

My birthday package from home contained Twizzlers, approximately 4 pounds of gummi worms from Winco, The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking, orange tic tacs, birthday candles, balloons, a Bart Simpson figurine, a notebook full of graph paper, gift cards to Old Navy and Barnes and Noble, a threadless shirt, an I can Stencil Pirates! book, several weeks worth of comics from The Oregonian, and my favorite three berry blend jam.

-A and B sent me a card saying they'd bought me a cranberry farm.
-a girl in my ward gave me Andes mints and a card that said I did not look like a fat dinosaur.
-both F2 and Boney M called me and wished me a happy birthday.
-my roommate gave me a delightful card and several bars of candy.

Then the gifts from my party! I got
- edited copies of The Big Lebowski and Good Will Hunting from my cousins
- 2 boggle brain busters books from the Maoist
- a small can of meat that had a label taped to it that said Sugarman's from Little Pete
- a yoyo from Robert Poste
- Some Like it Hot and The Rescuers from M-Lite
- 7 boxes of jello from A and C
-a Cat Shtevens CD and the coolest scrapbook page ever from krebscout.
-a giant road atlas that I'm itching to put to use. Thank you Ahem.
-a New York Times touch screen handheld crossword puzzle dealy and all the supplies to make a whole lot of sock puppets. Thank you Optimistic..
-Superthug gave me an amazing card with a monster terrorizing a city on it.
-and a special gift from Uffish involved a goose and a golden W

Also, Ahem and krebscout made me the coolest cake I've ever laid both my eyes on, shaped like a windmill, complete with a small Don Quixote made from frosting. I've never been more impressed. And they were gracious enough to let me have my party at their apartment. It's a tradition I started last year, celebrating my birthday at krebscout's. When we're 78 she may finally be sick of me, but until that day comes I'm going to keep on throwing myself birthday parties in her house.

This birthday actually started in the grocery store after eating at Taco Bell, going to the Divine Comedy tech show, and watching Scrubs with some of my favorite people. And before that was the Happy Pirates show and Pi day, movie night, jungle gyms, 24, and back and back and back. I'm never able to separate out the events of my life - they all tend to run together making it seem as though this whole semester has been one incredibly long and fun-filled day. Halcyon is the word I want to use.

That's all really. I just wanted to show off how much people love me based on all the cool things they gave me, and to say thank you to everyone who came to my party. It was nice to see so many people from the old ward there. Thanks for making my 20th so special. I love you guys.

Also, today is my favorite holiday. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

The pith of the matter

A pith helmet! I'm overjoyed. My dad sent it to me for my birthday, and I must say it's one of the coolest things I've ever been given. I'm trying to think of ways I can put it to good use this summer. Oh boy I'm excited. It's made me rather giddy, having such a cool hat. I wore it last night when we went to Kiwanis Park and played on the jungle gym. It's the closest thing I've got to a real jungle for now, but it sure was fun.

Other news: tomorrow is the two month mark for how long I've had this piece of floss tied around my finger for no reason. It's also Pi day, and the Happy Pirates are having a show! I wrote new words to "In Our Lovely Deseret" on Sunday to make another pirate hymn. This is how it goes -

On the high seas of Pro-vo, where we sail and yell "yo ho!"
are us pi-rates and we like to do improv.
We are swar-thy, we are knaves, we have scur-vy, we don't shave
and we never wear char-treuse or puce or mauve!
Arr! Arr! Arr! We're hap-py pi-rates. Bliss-ful Bucc-an-eers are we.
When we come to do a show, oh we hope that it won't blow
b-ut, after all you did get in for free!

In addition to this hymn I have "Pirates can be together forever" and "Shiv one another." All three of them are terribly catchy.

Also, it's my birthday this Friday the 16th of March, and I'm terribly excited for it to come. My family mailed my birthday package yesterday and I've been promised that it contains my favorite kind of jam. I'm so happy right now.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Pigeon Crap Tuesday

Today was pigeon crap Tuesday, despite the fact that it's a Monday. Under the east canopy at work there are pigeons that nest in the eaves, which gets to be quite messy. This last summer it was our job to clean out the eaves on Tuesdays. The process involves a hose, a very tall ladder, and getting sprayed with a lot of pigeon crap. It's glorious.

So today, first thing when I got in to work my boss said that the pigeons needed to be dealt with and I leapt at the chance. I hadn't gotten to do pigeon duty in ages.

"Pigeon crap Tuesday?! On a Monday?! It's Christmas come early!"

Three of us went out there, but I have the most experience so I got to do most of the hosing while up on the ladder. Basically it rains down crap and you try to not get covered in the stuff. And it was beautiful outside today, which made it that much more exciting. The whole thing took an hour and a half. Time sure flies when you're up to your elbows in bird poop.

Story from this Summer. My coworker E and I were usually the ones to do pigeon crap Tuesday. It all came about because of these memos we'd get from PB who's in charge of everything that goes on in the Wilk. He'd send us memos asking us to get rid of the birds and we'd be forced to go out and deal with them as best we could, which usually involved hosing out the eaves while up on a ladder. One time he called in saying that there was a nest under the canopy and that we were to tear it down. We went out there, looked at it, and both of us admitted that we were hesitant to destroy some poor bird's nest. E said that we were just doing our job, that we were following orders, and that we couldn't possibly be held accountable for what we were about to do. I made reference to Nuremberg at that point. He ignored me and tore down the nest.

Directly after tearing down this nest we went to put our ladder away, and what happened? A little bird flew up into the eaves where its nest used to be and produced a few sorrowful sounding cheeps, almost as if to say "Hey, where's my house?"

Then a second bird flew up and the two cheeped together, having a conversation that I can only imagine went something like this:

B2: What happened?! Where's our house?
B1: I don't know, but when I came back there were two evil custodians walking away from here. I just don't understand why they would want to tear down our home.
B2: What did we ever do to deserve this? For the love of all that's good and decent, why? Why did this have to happen?

Yeah, we felt pretty low about having destroyed their nest, and what's worse is that the crosswalk by the canopy makes that chirping sound, and every time it sounded I thought of what we'd done. We also accidentally killed some baby birds once. I wasn't actually there for that one, but I heard about it that afternoon. They didn't know they were up there when we started the process.

The last time I did pigeon crap Tuesday was sometime last semester. I was up on a ladder with a broom handle trying to force out a particularly large pigeon while it kept backing further and further into the corner. Then a girl from one of my classes walked by and we had a semi-awkward greeting due to the fact that I was up on a ladder antagonizing a pigeon and she was walking around like a normal human being. I succeeded in getting the bird to take flight while she was still present, which was unfortunate because its movements caused quite a bit of crap to come showering down.

Oh well. I got to be outside doing something incredibly fun, disgusting, and interesting this afternoon after having to sit through three incredibly boring classes. Today was a great day.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Scars with a Z

"Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London underground." -Albus Dumbledore

I have my fair share, but none of them are very cool. Not at all in fact. Guys always seem to have cool scars. I've never broken anything, so all of mine are from nicks and cuts, etc.

On my hands, starting with the right
-There's a half inch long white line at the base of my thumb. Source: unknown
-Middle knuckle of my middle finger. Short, thick, white scar. This one is from playing pool of all things. M-Lite and I used to go down to the basement of the old apartments and play, and somehow we'd always end up talking with ridiculous fake accents. One time my hand slipped and I gouged my knuckle open on the edge of the table. I don't handle pain all that well. I ran upstairs to get Neosporin and band aids, hoping I wouldn't pass out before I got there. M-Lite has a similar scar on the same finger from cutting hair.

My left hand
-There are several spots on the palm of my hand where the natural lines are interrupted and my flesh looks as though it must have been pinched by something. I have no idea if this came about naturally or what.
-The base of my ring finger has a squat segment of a scar. I nicked it at work cleaning the chef's office. I don't understand why it chose to scar, as I've had much worse happen with nothing left behind to show for it. Hmmmm.
-A white line, an inch and a half long on the left side of my hand, on the flat part that you'd rest on the desk while writing. Everyone needs a nemesis growing up. I detested a little boy six years my junior who had a better vocabulary than most adults I know. Playing chase at the church building I ended up being cut by a pen that was jagged at one end, its clip having been broken off. Little beads of blood formed, and as per usual I headed for a restroom to clean it off before I could faint. Man I hated that kid. He bit me in the leg once.
-No scar remains from this that I've been able to see, but sometime this past summer I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. I was using a pair of scissors to detach long strips of magnets from some metal poles. My hand slipped and whoops! I sliced into my thumb. Like I said, I don't deal with pain very well. I grabbed some toilet paper to blot with and laid down on my back on the floor by the vanity with my feet up in the air, holding my thumb, feeling lightheaded, and hoping that the skin would reattach itself. Finally I called out for M-Lite, asking her to come into the back. She came back, found me lying like I was, and I told her I'd cut off the top of my thumb, and asked could she please get me some Neosporin and some band aids? The skin never did reattach itself.

My head
- I have a large white spot on my chin. I have no idea why. It's possible that it's left over from the chicken pox I had as a child and I've only just noticed it. Likewise, I have a small white spot on my nose.Then again I'm white all over, so it's possible that it's not a scar, and just my natural coloration.
-High on my forehead is a dent. Playing horsey as a child I was ridden into a rocking chair.
-Somewhere on the top of my head there is a scar. I've never seen it, but I believe that it must be there. It's from a ladle. M-Lite and I were sword fighting when we were little, and even though I had the older, sturdier ladle, and she had the new blue plastic one, I was the one who ended up getting hurt. She bopped me on the head and I bled. A lot. Head wounds do that. I was put in my parents' bed to rest and I bled all over my dad's pillow. He gave me the pillow after that, as it was blood stained and of no use to him.

This opens up a whole other can of worms though, because I remember being glad he'd given it to me because I didn't have a pillow at the time. I have no idea why this was, just that I didn't have one. I'm sure there's a logical explanation - I probably lost it or something, and in the shuffle and the hustle and bustle of ten people all living together nobody noticed. I find it very funny is all, because I didn't have an Easter basket either. Some of my siblings had set Easter baskets that they had dibs on and used every year while the rest of us used ice cream buckets or whatever. I also did not have a Christmas stocking for a few years because mine got lost. Each of us has a stocking with our name on it, but mine disappeared somehow and for several years my mom used a brown paper lunch sack instead. I have a new one now, but for a few years I kind of expected to find some yogurt and a sandwich awaiting me Christmas morning.

Just to clarify, I don't actually think I was neglected in any way that was harmful to me- looking back I think it's really quite funny, these things I realize about my childhood, and I laugh and wonder why I didn't have a pillow.

That's all really, except for some scars on my feet and some obvious mental problems. The end.

Friday, March 09, 2007

"Mumps" said the doctor, "Measles" said the nurse...

Today at work was long and grueling with no end in sight. People kept asking for changes to their sets, we were out of poles, we were rushed and pressed for time, and as a rule I have no patience with people who worked ineptly and inefficiently. The Ballroom needed to be taken down and set up, as did the Terrace. I was a bit stressed out. Then I saw L'afro and she fed me popcorn. That made my day. L'afro, I thank you a million times over.

In unrelated news I had a dream that I purchased a white alligator skin purse for $46.38.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Je n'ai pas besoin d'un parapluie

I thought that yesterday was nice weather-wise, because the sun was out and it was T-shirt weather for once. My coworker and I got to cut up a refrigerator box and sweep the south dock, which was a lot more fun than it might sound. Using our exacto knives we cut out all the cool phrases we could find on the box and kept them. Mine I'm going to turn into refrigerator magnets, which I think is very appropriate. So we worked and we talked and we stood in the sun and we sang familiar songs, tweaking the lyrics to make them about custodial work. We're contemplating performing a medley at the Moppies in April.

Best of all, it rained last night, and the air was perfumed with that wonderful scent of soil, the smell of wet dirt that I will never get over no matter how long I live. I only thought it had been nice out until that happened.The rain made it beautiful, making me miss home. And this morning it continued raining. It was overcast. I was ecstatic.

When I set out for class this morning it was only sprinkling, but then it really started up and it was glorious. Living in the northwest you learn to walk with your head at such an angle that your glasses don't get wet, but today I didn't care. In fact, I even thought to slow down a bit and enjoy being outside in it. I waited at the crosswalk longer than I needed to in order to soak it all up. I hope it stays like this for awhile. It probably won't, but that's okay. This rain has signaled the coming of Spring, which means road trips, playing croquet, and all sorts of things. Man alive I'm excited.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Here's looking at you Kearl

Krebscout gave me cauliflower. Chou-fleur. I'm so happy. For that and for other reasons.

Also, this is my fiftieth post, give or take fifty. Hoo-ray.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

The contents of my purse

(1) green spiral notebook marked "crosswords"
(1) deck of invisible playing cards
(1) plastic bib from a McDonald's in Blackfoot Idaho
(1) lens cleaning cloth in its original bag, encased in a second plastic bag
(1) one dollar bill
(1) piece of paper inviting me to join the birthday club at Craigo's
(1) green cloth napkin with a Twix wrapper folded inside of it
(1) key ring holding (1) house key and (9) cards - Border's gift card, BYU student ID, Oregon driver's license, Washington County library card, Provo city library card, my laundry card, Washington Mutual debit card, Target gift card, and M-Lite's Washington County library card
(1) package of Kleenex tissues, received in my stocking at Christmas
(1) copy of Symptoms & Illnesses
(1) movie stub I found on the ground at work
(2) yellow pencils, neither of them size 2. A Dixon Ticonderoga size 2 5/10 medium, and a General's BADGER size 2 2/4
(1) cell phone
(1) ballpoint pen
(1) tube of Mint Delight softlips brand chapstick I got last Christmas from the Maoist
(1) Hall's cough drop wrapper
(3) pennies - 1994, 2004, and 1975, one of which I was given on Valentine's day
(1) dime - 2004
(2) quarters - 1995 and 2005
(1) piece of two foot long tape I stole from a dispenser in the BYU-Idaho library that is now condensed into a small blob after having been wrapped around my finger for a brief period of time
(1) brown fork