ABCDEGH or (f)loss

*Warning: You won't want to read this whole thing. It's long because I don't know how to phrase things. Condensed version is this - It's me rambling about people that you've probably never met and how I feel like I'm losing everyone I know and care about. I can't recommend the short version enough.

(An enormously loud fluttering sound, perhaps from a book being dropped, awakens Genuine who is sleeping in the bed upstage Left. It is early in the morning. Roommate who made the noise is trying to be quiet.)

GENUINE: Hahahahahahahahahaha

(Roommate assumes Genuine is laughing in her sleep and continues trying to not make noise. Genuine goes back to sleep. An unspecified amount of time passes -the set is lighter now as sunlight pours through the open blinds, revealing just how messy the room really is. Roommate is leaning over Genuine's head, and Genuine awakens.)

ROOMMATE: Don't worry, I'm just trying to unplug my cell phone charger.

(Roommate moves to unplug her charger from the power strip located near Genuine's head in the gap between her desk and her bed. She is successful.)

ROOMMATE (straightening up) : Sorry about all the noise earlier.

GENUINE: Yeah, what was that? It woke me up and for some reason I thought it was hilarious. Very fluttery sounding.

ROOMMATE: I thought you were just laughing in your sleep.

GENUINE: I thought that you would think that.

(Chatter continues until Roommate moves to leave.)

ROOMMATE: Well, goodbye. See you in a week.

GENUINE: Where are you going?

ROOMMATE: Oh, did I not tell you either? I'm going to Yellowstone for a week for J's family reunion.

GENUINE (kicking her legs excitedly under her covers) : Room to myself!

GENUINE (stops kicking) : Wait, when are you coming back?

ROOMMATE: It gets over Friday, so maybe Saturday, but we'll probably stay through Sunday.

GENUINE: Oh, I'm moving Saturday.

ROOMMATE: This Saturday? This next Saturday?

(Genuine asks the date and the two confirm that she is in fact moving in a week.)

ROOMMATE: Oh. Well, have fun in your house. Leave your address.

GENUINE: Wait! Let me give you a hug in case I never see you again.

(The two embrace, Roommate exits downstage Right, and Genuine is left by herself)

THE END

Riveting stuff, I know. Class, what's wrong with this scene? Anyone?

Student A: Well, it's pretty boring for one thing. Why would somebody waste their time writing this?

Teacher: Well, you're right in a way- this scene is fairly mundane. But look closely. Do these characters do anything that strikes you as being out of the ordinary?

Student B: Umm, yeah. There's that one girl, umm, Genuine. Yeah. Well, the way she's acting doesn't really fit with what we've read about her so far. I mean, in ACT I she's pretty distant toward her roommates, but in this Act it's almost as if she likes them.

Teacher: You're absolutely right. This behavior is very uncharacteristic. Notice how at the end she requests to hug her roommate -we know that's not something that really fits with the way her character thinks or has acted in the past. She's being sentimental. Emotional even. Did you see how it ends with her alone in a dark room? It's a pretty obvious technique to convey her emotions through the setting. Well, I didn't say it was a good play. I really just showed it to you for practice reading, before we moved on to something a bit more complex, like say, Fern Gully! the musical. The message there is a little harder to pick up on. Try to notice the author's subtle use of nature.

Sorry about that drivel up there. Here's the deal - I realized yesterday that everyone was either leaving me or I was leaving them. A friend of mine just went into the MTC. A second friend from work had her last day yesterday before she goes on vacation before she also goes on a mission. Her farewell is tomorrow. Another girl from work is leaving in about a week. She's getting married. Her bridal shower is today. I'm moving in a week, away from my roommates I have now, which includes M-Lite, my sister and roommate for most of the past 20 years. (There was that one week when we weren't sisters.) And this morning I said goodbye to my other roommate because I probably won't see her before I move.

I'm a bit overcome by all of this -I've been feeling this enormous sense of loss pressing down on me for awhile now as I realize more and more that I'm never going to see most of these people again. I'm reminded that life goes on, that people move, people leave, people live, people die. I just don't want to have to put up with being one of those people.

The thing is, it takes me a long time to get used to people, and about the time I get attached, everyone goes their separate ways.

So, my one coworker who's leaving on mission, we'll call her Foggy. I didn't know her all that well in the beginning, because like I said, it takes me awhile to get to know people.Anyway, not knowing her as I did, I was under the impression that she was quiet and kind and polite. Coworker Jungle Jim always said that she was mean and none of us believed him, because I mean, look at this girl. She's blond and from Utah and just looks like she was cut out of a church magazine.

Anyway, I'd been wanting to get to know my coworkers outside of work, but was having trouble thinking of a way to go about it when Foggy solved the problem. She said her sister wanted to have a get together and she was supposed to invite some friends to this thing, the only problem being that she didn't have (m)any friends, and so she asked us if we would be interested in coming. It was a bold move on her part, not knowing whether we'd say yes or tell her to hit the road, but we were all really wanting to go, and we finally broke the coworker/friend barrier.

So we became friends outside of work, and I saw this girl for who she was. She has a mean sense of humor that I really like - she makes fun of people, but you know she's joking. I remember meeting her family and seeing how much they fought and being so relieved that they were normal. She's also very honest and demands that people be very blunt and open with her. If you're at her house at a party and she asks if you want to stay a bit longer and play games, it's okay to say that you're tired and would rather go home instead, and she won't think you're being impolite. I like that about her. She has a fair number of parties and things at her house and I realized that tomorrow is the last time I'll ever be over there. And I have no say in the matter - it's just being taken from me. These people and places are being taken from me and I'm helpless to stop it from happening.

H called me back in April when I got engaged and accused me of robbing her of her childhood. I wasn't allowed to get married because it would be damaging to her mental and emotional well-being. Well, join the club. I'm scared out of my mind about all the changes that are coming, and some of them are good even. Some are great. I'm going to be living with some awesome people this Summer and Fall. I've been looking forward to it for months now. Uffish, krebscout, Skye, Whistler, Ahem - I'm stoked to be living with you guys. And Winter semester I'll get a new roommate again, only he's kind of for forever and not just a semester.

It's just weighing on me, both the changes that are coming and the ones that are already upon me. I wish I had a little more control over things; over anything for that matter.

There's something M-Lite and I say sometimes from My Big Fat Greek Wedding when one of us is leaving the house. The father says in his little Greek accent, "Why you want to leave me?" and that's what I'm thinking about everything right now as I wonder why and how people go away and leave what they know to start something new.