Lately my rhinitis has been bad enough that I've resorted to just sticking a tissue up my nose and walking around the house that way.* It keeps my hands free, which is nice, but it's starting to become a habit, and I sometimes have to remind myself not to do it in public.
I'm mostly at peace with the fact that I'm going to spend the next sixty years constantly blowing my nose, but that doesn't mean it isn't a bit depressing. I'm the person people say "bless you" to eight times before they realize the sneezing isn't going to stop so they drop the charade of caring already. I'm the person in the theatre or lecture hall that's blowing their nose so violently no one can hear what's being said. I'm the person everyone assumes is sick, and they judge me for coming out in public and making other people sick, even though what I've got isn't catching.
I know I'm that person, and I've come to terms with it, but I just this morning realized that next week I have to sit through my graduation ceremony, and depending on how much dust there is and whether or not the girl sitting next to me happens to be wearing perfume, I may go through upwards of 50 Kleenexes in the space of two hours.
Do I bring an entire box with me? Where am I going to put them all once I've used them? Should I arrange to have a small trash can placed under my seat? We don't have assigned seats. I'll have to carry it on stage myself. Am I bold enough to take the stage carrying a small lined trash can and an entire box of Kleenex? That's pretty bold. Why not just bring an ottoman and make myself at home?
And when we get up to receive our diplomas, we're not supposed to take anything with us. Surely I can conceal one or two tissues in my left hand? I don't need my left hand for anything, do I? Or is that the hand I take the diploma with while I shake the Dean's right hand? Maybe I can rubber band them to my wrist. How long are the sleeves on my robe?
And on and on it goes. Maybe instead of worrying about it I should just embrace it already and bring a gigantic red and white spotted clown hanky that I can blow my nose into as ostentatiously as possible.
In short, I have no idea how I'm going to get through two hours without making a spectacle of myself.
*I have a tissue crammed up my nose right now. It's bliss.
7 comments:
True fact: when wrestlers get bloody noses, they shove in a tampon. The kind without the inserter, just the pods that come loose and individually wrapped in a box. The coaches unwrap them, snip them off to nostril-length, and keep them stashed in a clean place until needed.
Just a thought. And if you actually do this, please let me know.
I seem to recall that my graduation robes had pockets. You could stash a couple of travel packs of Kleenex in there (if the design is still the same).
Wait, you don't want to make a spectacle of yourself? You've changed, man. You've changed.
You just need some hookworms. That's all. Then you could leave your tissues home. (Forever.)
The tampons sound like a pretty good option, though. I wonder if they would make your nose look puffy? You don't want to carry anything in your hands, though, because I had my programs and stuff with me and it was so awkward, because I didn't have enough hands to shake hands and accept my diploma. So my picture is awkward because I'm shaking hands but not taking my diploma. The guy's just holding it out there for the picture. Hm.
When I graduated, we went back to our seats after walking across the stage, so maybe you could just keep a stash there.
can you take a high power anti-hystamine and dry out your nose for an hour or two?
*eversam
i like the rubber band idea personally
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